It is game-eve, the day before the Pittsburgh Steelers face the St. Louis Rams on December 24, 2011. Here’s my Steelers wish list for Santa.
Dear Santa,
What I want for Christmas is simple. I want the Steelers to earn the #1 seed in the AFC playoffs. I know the Steelers were bad last week. The #1 seed was gift-wrapped and ready to be taken. But somehow the Steelers lost to the mediocre San Francisco 49ers. The Steelers played badly, but their intentions were good. They were in the spirit of giving instead of taking (turnovers). Fans in San Francisco (those not newly on the bandwagon) haven’t had football thoughts at this time of year for decades. The Steelers have given them a chance to dream of long-forgotten glory. Even the referees chipped in to help the 49ers by missing an obvious 3rd down reception by Antonio Brown and curiously confusing a muffed punt with interference. But I’m not bitter.
So, the Steelers need some help getting the #1 seed, Santa. Can you please give us fans the following to help them out?
A Houston Texans loss
Thank you, Santa and the Indianapolis Colts. This is already accomplished. See? This isn’t so hard.
A sensible win against the Rams
The Steelers should rest Ben Roethlisberger, at least for this game to let his ankle heal up. Santa, send Coach Mike Tomlin a reminder to let Charlie Batch (or Dennis Dixon) hand the ball off to RBs Rashard Mendenhall and Isaac Redman. The Rams give up the most rushing yards in the NFL. The game plan is simple – ram it down their throats and walk away with a W. There is no need for Roethlisberger to face Chris Long and the Rams pash rush. The Rams have won one game on the road; the Steelers have only lost one game at home. Santa, you shouldn’t have to work too hard on this one. But you could put some coal in Steven Jackson’s stockings to slow him down.
A Baltimore Ravens loss
The Ravens fans are cawing because their embarrasing loss to the San Diego Chargers didn’t cost them the AFC North crown, yet. This week they play the Cleveland Browns in Baltimore. Yes, Santa, it is asking a lot. But can you help Seneca Wallace and Peyton Hillis score? And can you teach the Browns how to tackle Ray Rice before he gains 200 yards? It is hard to imagine what Ravens fans would do if the Ravens lose this one. Let’s find out!
A New England Patriots loss
The Patriots, with no real defense, still looked impressive defeating the Denver Broncos and the Tim Tebow express last Sunday. On Saturday they are at home against their division foes, the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins have played better in the second half of the season. Santa, can you help C.J. Spiller, Brandon Marshall, and company to come out victorious? You will probably have to tackle Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski yourself, but that’s OK with me. Use your sleigh to knock down Tom Brady’s passes. Whatever you can do, I will appreciate it.
That’s it, Santa. Just a few items on this fan’s list. Forget the milk and cookies. If you can help the Steelers out, I’m sure there will be a Primanti Brothers sandwich and an Iron City for you. Here we go, Santa, here we go!
Sean Durity is a Terrible Towel twirling Steelers fan living in Atlanta. He grew up cheering the 1970s dynasty and appreciates the organization’s excellence even more as an adult.
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